Been quite a week! Never dull or lacking for something to do. I was sick for part of the week which did not make it fun, but antibiotics seem to help. Life is keeping me on my feet!!! I have pain, but somehow, I am fighting thru it, and making it. Getting casted for two new braces for my feet yesterday I was reminded of all the casts I have had and it is just not a fun feeling. Those scissors pressing on screw heads as they cut the casts off. Yet, it was a reminder of how far I have come. These new braces hopefully will help with my feet stability. They will also fit in my shoes and not be boots!! Apparently the only place I have lost weight is in my feet! Seriously, they do not swell like they did a year ago. They still swell at times, but they are better now. With being on my feet more hopefully weight loss will follow elsewhere. I am hardly in the chair unless I have to because in the wheelchair van it is a rule. If an aide takes me we take the cane and my chair. I do take my chair if Dartmouth is a 12 hour day, then it is tiring and the chair is needed. But I make every effort to walk. I have been doing alot of reading and soul searching about my chiari and syrinx. With them it is a strong possibility to end up in a chair at some point in life and it could ultimately be permanent. So until then, I am going to do everything in my power to live life, fill my world with everything I possibly can! I am by no means done living. I think thru my addiction, frustration, and with depression gave up a little. No more. I am not giving up! Last use of oxy was on 1/29/12. That was just shy of two weeks ago. I turned in all my pain meds just a day or two after that....even those that were not narcotic pain meds. The only meds I take are those for my neurological meds, or allergies. Pain is hard at times, I wont lie. When it gets hard, I put my headphones on, to drown out the world, find a quiet place, and pray, listen to music and wait for the worst to pass. It does. It was hard at first. I never thought that would work.
This week as crazy as it has been has taught me that living is fun. Laughing, smiling, being with people, I realized how much I have missed that!!! Not every day will be easy, but I am learning that those good days, take them and go. The hard ones, lean on God. He is there. Two verses that continuously fall in my mind each day are Eph 6:10-11 and Phil 4:13
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