Well.....today is day 9. No pain meds of any kind. Hard. But I am okay. I am trying really hard to learn new ways to deal w pain. I am learning that living life w freedom from meds is a lot better than living life w the addiction the meds bring. Today....I got up, made cookie batter. Got ready and went to ladies Bible study. Then I came home, made the cookies, immediately left and brought them where they needed to be and did errands. Came home and did dishes. Now resting. That was probably a little more than planned.....but I did accomplish one thing....I made cookies!!!!! I have not done that in a while. I got to bring them to the office I have not in a long time. So that is cool. I did without the aid of meds. I also did today walking w a cane, no chair. That is also an accomplishment. I might feel this tomorrow, but I have down day so that is okay. I am learning just disappearing to music is such a neat thing when in pain....just dim the lights, play my music, pray, read and for the most part it does help. Life has to consist of something more than being bound by an addiction. I also opted to not go the route that requires them putting me on meds that will also or can also cause addiction to get me away from what I have been addicted to for pain. I rather not. I know I can do this without them. It makes no sense to take another addicting med. I think I just determined in my mind that I can do this. I don't want to go back to how I was before. I felt isolated inside myself. Now I feel like I am emerging again. Coming out of a shell that I had locked myself inside of for so long. So now it is time to fly! I know I will battle this fight for life but I know there is so much more left in life for me to live, experience and so much more I can do for others!
As far as IOP last night they noticed I looked happier. I am! I am just learning as I go it is day by day and moment by moment. But I love living again. Feeling again. Ya I have to face things I did not want to before, but that is okay. I am able to now. I am ready. So ..... tonight now that I have had a busy day and hopefully cookies were a success, I am going to call it a day and get ready for tomorrow! IOP tomorrow night!!!
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