Well.....I have officially made it. Two weeks pain med free! Not easy. I guess I am determined. Someone once told me if anyone can do it you can because when you make up your mind to do something you do it. Well, was hard at first but when it clicked, it clicked!! I will always be what is considered an "addict" but I have a choice. I can break the chain that holds me to that addiction or I can stay attached. Funny as I think about Thursday nights IOP. I believe that yes, to an extent addiction can be a hereditary disease, but I believe through Christ it is one that can be broken!! Hearing doctors excuse it just kind of frustrated me. Addiction is like divorce to me. You have a choice. Just because your parents divorced does not mean you have to. Just because your parents might have been an addict of alcohol or drugs does not mean you will, but see I think we find so many ways to excuse everything today. Sweep it under the carpet. See yes there are genes that carry addiction on in the hereditary line, but they are not strong genes. Culture, lifestyle, and what we teach at home is what will influence our children, that is what will carry on. They are stronger influences in our lives. Yes, I divorced, does it make it right? The cycle can be broken....based on what I teach my children, by what they see in the Bible. No more excuses. I have struggled a lot of my adult life with my addictions, but I am learning that to conquer them I must daily surrender myself to someone who I gave my life to when I accepted him as my Lord and Savior. God is my strength.
I am so happy again....living again. I am singing again....and I am also starting to think of my future again. I had given up for a while. I am thinking that I may go to school online. Not sure which college yet, but I am truly thinking after these next few neuro check ups and MRI's maybe it is time to at least see what I can do with my life. See what God has for me.....my life is in his hands.
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