Last night the world saw another year in. Although so many speculate this is the last year, no one really knows. The fact is, no person is guaranteed another breath. So why waste the time on things that matter not. There are so many days I would wonder because of my health if I closed my eyes, went to sleep, would I wake. So I celebrate life, a new day everyday. What if God said this is it, this year, this moment is the last. How would I want to be found in the way I celebrate life? How would I want to be found in the way I celebrate my Lord?
I recently read something on a sign that read, "You must not lose one moment of time-For you have not one to spare". Now, that is so true. I live that everyday. I know each day for me is often a struggle, and can sometimes be hard but I treasure each moment no matter how much the struggle. It is often in those struggles that I realize how much I am learning, how much I see and know God is there and is at work if I trust him, if I have faith in him and if I let go of the reigns and allow him to be the control pilot of my life. That also goes in sharing the gospel. When I look back in the past year or so of my life that is where I see the biggest thing I regret. God has taught me so much thru the course of his changing my life in doing basically a 180 degree turn with being an LNA one day and the next day becoming well....what would one day lead to being disabled. The past 4 years have taught me so much about myself, about God and his love, grace, forgiveness, acceptance. I know he has wanted me to share so much of his lessons and I have yet to do so in a more public way or in a way that maybe I could make a difference or help someone else and if what I am going thru can make a difference in anyone's life than I need to start sharing. I need to begin not wasting that one moment.
I for a long time thought I could not ever help anyone again, or be of use to anyone anymore since I could no longer do the one thing I loved which was take care of people, specifically the elderly. God taught me so I was so wrong. So maybe by starting this blog and sharing my heart, I can help others, take care of their "heart". See, life itself teaches us daily lessons but we have to be open to them, open to letting our hearts feel and yes sometimes that means even being a little vulnerable. Cherish even those moments. God will give the strength you need to get thru them if you turn to him. That is often hard to think about though when you are going thru things or situations. So many times I am filled with tears and pain my eyes are blinded. But I know God sees that pain and my tears...he has counted every tear drop and his arms are there to hold me, surround me....it is sometimes my own will that keeps me out of those arms. Sometimes it is hard to let go, and let someone else have control...even of the hard times. But thats what God our loving Father wants to do. He wants nothing more than to be there for us not just in the bad times but in the good times too. Thank God for the good times, and even thank him for the bad. He never allows them unless he has a purpose and an intention behind them. God has also shown me one of the greatest ways I can still take care of people is by caring about their inner being....their heart. The best way to do that is by being willing to give your heart away. Question is...are you willing to share your heart and give it away?? Take care of others that way too?? That is such an awesome way to take care of someone.......by sharing your heart and taking care of them that way.
So my goal from henceforth is to share in this blog a little of my life with those in my life and those they feel led to share it with. I will try to do a recap of the last 4 years as it is crucial to understand just a little of who I am. I am exactly the way God made me. I often heard it told well you are the way you are because of your sin. Well, it might be thru some of my choices that maybe some of my circumstances may be "harder", but God already knew that I was going to be just the way I am as it is he who made me.....and there is that little old chorus we sing that says....."He is still working on me to make me what I ought to be....it took him just a week to make a moon and the stars, the sun and the earth, jupiter and mars how loving and patient he must be cause he's still working on me". Now that is patience! I know I must try his patience....I tried my parents all the time, but he never gives up on us! Sometimes our friends will, sometimes even family will turn away from us, but never will God! So, as you read my journal entries, know they are from my heart, and are my life experiences. I pray they will be a blessing to you.
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