What is my heart's foundation? 1/23/12

There are many times in life we find ourselves "broken" or stripped of all the walls, roof, nails and all that we might have built up so that we could be protected, where we allowed only windows so only glimpses of our heart could show.  A fake smile is easy to have, showing everything is okay. Sometimes God uses small things to break us, and sometimes he uses great big things.  Over the last few weeks, with what I am going thru, God has used it to break down the walls, taking away every wall I can hide behind and now I have to figure out how to deal with things. Means I have to be open about how I feel, how I hurt, and as I read in my Bible yesterday, all I could do was cling to the one foundation I know so well and that is God's grace, his mercy.  His forgiveness.  Like a parent with a child when they have done something wrong or you know something is bothering them but they are hiding, but you know it and you are just waiting for them to come to you, that is how it was for me.  God just wanted me to lay all my worries, my fears, my cares with him at the cross.  It does not mean I don't have them it just means I no longer carry them alone. My hiding how I felt about my disability and the frustration of all the feet surgeries, brain surgery, and just not getting as strong as I wanted, and not being able to live like I thought was best, or a "39" yr old should, just led to my problems, my hidden pain, issues.  But, my foundation was there, my heart may be in pieces with all the walls down, but this way ..... God can put me back together again.  I do not have to carry this alone and I can still be beautiful for God....no matter how I am........